My Journey from Chronic Illness to Creative Wellness

Let’s talk about chronic illness.

Spoiler: It’s tricky. But healing is worth it.

I usually become quite anxious when I’m asked to talk about my health history. It goes back decades, involving physical and mental health issues, it’s tricky. New patient appointments literally make my hands sweat. It’s a toss-up of what kind of reaction I’ll get from a doctor. Some are incredibly interested in the full history, wanting to know every detail, while others cut me off mid-sentence and ask, “So, what’s the issue today?” I get it; medicine these days is complicated, but so are our bodies. 

As well as having a complicated physical history, I’ve had a complicated mental health history, which I’ve found can really throw a wrench in medical diagnoses. Mentioning Major Depressive Disorder or Generalized Anxiety Disorder can change faces and demeanors even. I’ve had a handful of experiences where the “kid gloves” came out. A doctor who was initially really interested in my stomach issues is now telling me that perhaps the symptoms are emotionally related and I should consider following up with my psychiatrist to reassess my medication.

Spoiler: I’ve found it’s usually both; stress is a motherf*cker that makes everything worse. I also want to mention that being as honest as possible with your physician is always crucial.

If you don’t feel comfortable with a physician’s response, keep calm, carry on and find another doctor.

These responses I’ve mentioned are just the medical ones — the personal and social ramifications of chronic illness are another chapter, even book. 

I’ve found that my biggest mistake in coping with chronic illness over my lifetime has been talking about it - to the wrong people, that is. It’s not to say people didn’t genuinely love me or want to know about my health, but I assumed they would understand and empathize with the suffering and overwhelm that came with chronic illness. And honestly, that never really happened. Life is hard, for everyone. Period. It’s a lot to expect others to hold space for your chronic issues that have few improvements and even fewer solutions. And not only that, but I had unrealistic expectations of the support I wanted to receive, which made me feel disappointed and isolated in my relationships and life. I eventually realized that these expectations would be my own responsibility to bear; I would need to shift where I found support. 

So, what did I do? I found my tribe. Actually tribes.(You don’t have to have just one!) While I was out looking for any and every person to empathize with my chronic eczema, I realized that all of those other chronic eczema sufferers were probably searching for that same kind of support. So I went to find them! And when I did (because they really were there), I felt a weighted blanket of support and acceptance I’d never before experienced. They were my tribe, and it really mattered.

I can’t emphasize enough how crucial support — the right support — is to healing. I also want to emphasize that support is out there — for everyone. (Have you ever seen the TLC show “My Strange Addiction?”) Your tribes exist, and they are ready and willing to embrace you and your journey. And if your tribe doesn’t exist, create one! If you build it, they will come.

The more I find the right people - the round pegs that actually fit in the round holes - and the more I stop forcing those square pegs to fit, the more I feel safe and present in my mind and body.  

Feeling connected and understood is life-changing. 

I’ll go into specifics of my own health journey here on the blog in later entries. You’ll also find me sharing experiences and insight into these areas on my Podcast and YouTube channel. I’ve found that almost all of these chronic ailments have been connected in one way or another - at times a domino effect of some sort.

As well, physical and mental health really do go hand in hand. When one is out of balance, the other is soon to follow.

The more I learn, experience and research, the more I learn how mindset is absolutely vital to healing chronic illness. It was through this revelation that led me to advocate ‘Creative Wellness.’

While I don’t want to spend my one lifetime searching for every answer (to questions that, in the end, may not have one), I do want to go from (as Pete Walker says) “surviving to thriving.” 

My goal here is to give back to the community that has given me so much acceptance and support. The inspiration I feel from the many brave souls who have shared their stories has given me the nudge I needed to share my own. If any experience resonates with even one person, helping them feel understood and more connected as they heal, then jumping off this scary cliff of visibility was all worth it. 

We are all in the same boat; let’s support each other along the way.

You can find me talking about my experiences here in my blog, on my Podcast and YouTube channel.

Thanks for being here!

If you’d like to connect directly in your inbox, sign up for The Spencerita Newsletter here!

Take care & continue creating,